Goal Setting With Depression – Part 2
I wanted to follow up on my last post about goal setting with depression by sharing some more specific tips that have helped my patients effectively set, work toward and achieve their goals.
State goals as positive statements
Focus on what you want to do more of or what you want to start doing. This is more motivating and action oriented than negative statements about what you want to stop. Focus on “dos” rather than “don’ts.”
Share your goals with a trusted accountability partner
Once you have decided on a goal that is important to you, overcome isolation and gain social support by sharing your goal and your action plan with someone. Find someone who will support you in putting energy into this goal, who will be nonjudgmental about the challenges that depression may pose for you and who will encourage you to overcome your fears or lapses in motivation as you move forward. You may have a friend or family member who can fill this role, or a therapist can often provide the right balance of encouragement and accountability.
Monitor progress and reassess regularly
Look are your goals and your progress daily, weekly or monthly to reassess. Is this goal still a priority for you? What barriers may be getting in your way? Are there any new skills you need to build in order to accomplish this goal? Are the tasks required to reach a large goal clearer now that you have made some progress?
Focus on progress not just outcome
Only your effort is in your power. The ultimate outcome of any endeavor can be unpredictable and is ultimately out of your control. So, to prevent burnout, focus on the actions you will do rather than the outcome. Think “I want to make 10 sales calls” or “I will study 50 pages” rather than “I will sell 3 widgets” or “I will get an A on my test.”
Make sure your goals are realistic
Depressed people are at risk for setting more vague and unrealistic goals than people without depression. Knowing that you may be vulnerable to setting an unrealistic goal, you can combat this tendency. Think about your goals as building upon each other like scaffolding. Start where you are, and push yourself ever so slightly to the next level. This way you can balance moving at the right pace for you while continuing to push yourself forward.
Take the word “failure” out of your vocabulary
Every action is a learning experience. Even if a goal does not meet the outcome you originally desired, it helps you learn what you desire, what does and does not motivate you, what you still need to put in place to overcome barriers, or to change old thinking or behavior patterns. Let go of judging or shaming yourself, and feel good about the actions that you take to work toward your goals.
Adjust expectations based on your symptoms in the moment
Sometimes you may feel full of energy and sometimes motivation and movement feel out of reach. Make “one day at a time” a mantra. If symptoms get in your way, remember that this will not last forever. Ask yourself what small thing can you do today will help build a sense of progress and accomplishment even in a small way. Always allow yourself a fresh start with a new day.
Tiny steps will increase self-esteem if you let them
People experiencing depression tend to have high expectations of themselves and to be disappointed with the speed of their progress. To combat this tendency, look at the progress you have made from where you started rather than how far it still is until the finish line. Small steps are not insignificant. They build over time and this is how larger goals are attained.
Increase compassion for yourself
It is important to be gentle with yourself in order to combat negative thinking, perfectionism, and self-judgment. Consider how you would talk to a friend who felt stuck in the same place. How would you soothe and encourage them? Can you apply this same compassion to yourself?
I hope that you find these tips for effective goal setting with depression helpful. If you have feedback, or you would like to share the strategies that work best for you, please feel free to let me know.
